I worry a lot.

I worry, but I do it under the guise of planning and preparedness.

I like to think about solutions for hypothetical problems or figure out ways to avoid future negative circumstances, which isn’t a bad practice. But, I often let those thoughts morph into fear or give them permission to consume my mental energy, and that is worry.

These are a few worries I’ve confronted since moving to El Salvador:

What if our boys get dengue? (Mosquitoes are bad right now.)
What if we lost support and had to return to the U.S. for fundraising?
What if I get in a car accident when I’m alone driving the boys to school?
What if we are robbed?
What if there was a serious earthquake?
What if, what if, what if?

Sometimes, when I can’t come up with a plan for these hypothetical issues, I wrestle with a sense of sadness and anxiety. This is often accompanied by a knot in my stomach. Maybe you can relate?

My husband, Clay, constantly encourages me to stay in the present. His personality lends itself well to spontaneity and he is able to function at high levels without knowing the plan. I am the exact opposite, so that obviously makes for some fun, near-death experiences. Near-death meaning we just might kill each other when my need to feel prepared and to have a plan hits his lack of necessity for those things head on. (Isn’t God kind to grant us a lifelong friend who will often smooth out our rough places and stretch us where we need to be stretched?)

I was talking to my counselor recently about a potential outcome of a situation, and she encouraged me in this idea of letting go of worry. She challenged me to recognize when I was living in the what-ifs and then create a separation between the what-if spaces and my current reality. Because as I spent time in the what-ifs, it distracted me from everything I was doing today.

It clouded my vision and the ability to see all I needed to know. It zapped the energy I needed to use. I was operating at 50% because the other 50% of me was worrying about the what-ifs. 

So naturally I asked her how I was supposed to do that.

Her answer—trust that God is there in the what-ifs. And this phrase came to mind, which I’m making my mantra for the rest of the year …

God exists in the what-if spaces so that we don’t have to.

What room is there for worry?

The what-ifs aren’t out of His control. Those things haven’t happened yet and there’s a chance they never will. But even those possibilities aren’t outside of His sovereignty and ability to work good for His children.

The Bible promises this in Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Child of God, did you catch that? Paul assumes that his readers already know this because it’s so deeply true. Have you let your heart know it? He causes all things to work together for good.

What room is there for worry? What room is there for the what-ifs? He wants us to be present today. Today is all He has given us, all he has promised us.

And the other thing he’s promised about today is that His grace is sufficient and His mercy is overflowing.

Remember Lamentations 3:22-23: “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed. For His mercies do not come to an end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” We don’t have to dwell on the future. We have all we need in Him today.

Somebody recently told me that everything happening in our lives only reaches us after it has been sifted through the hands of our loving Father. Do we believe that? I’m just going to be honest—sometimes I don’t. But I want to—so I beg for faith. When the worst of our hypothetical situations confronts our reality, do we trust Him? Can we say that He is sovereign, good, and loving in the face of those what-ifs coming true?

Christ is our wisdom.

A family from our home church in Georgia is walking through an unimaginable trial with their daughter. In one of her email updates, the mom shared some lyrics from the song Christ Our Wisdom by Sovereign Grace Music. Here are the first four stanzas:

“Christ our wisdom, we are humbled
When you hide your ways from us.
You have purposes unnumbered
Each one good and glorious.

Help us trust when we grow weary
Free us from our anxious thoughts.
Give us grace to see more clearly,
You are God and we are not.

Christ our wisdom, be our gladness
When we fail to understand.
You ordain all joy and sadness
To fulfill your perfect plan.

Help us know you rule with power
Over every raging flood
In our most uncertain hour
You are God and we are loved.”

The fact that this mom is still seeking to believe these truths about God, knowing a small part of what they’re walking through, is a testament to me that God is real. It’s a testament to me that He is who He says He is. He is trustworthy. He is the healer. He is our hope and peace.

How would our lives change if we spent considerably less time in the what-if spaces? How would our emotional states be altered? Our irritability and anxiety? Our energy and our joy? If we chose to let God dwell in the what-if spaces and we stayed right here in the present.

Dear heart, let’s entrust our past, present, and what-if future to the capable, nail-scarred hands of our loving savior and king.

And to bring it full circle, I am reminded that Jesus faced his worst imaginable what-if as He took his last breath on the cross—complete separation from His Father God. As He drank the cup of God’s wrath to its dregs, the cup that was meant for us, He gave His past, present, and future into God’s hands.

Thankfully, just like our stories, His didn’t end in death.

Even if our worst what-if should come to pass, our stories as believers don’t end in death. So let’s leave the what-ifs in God’s hands and cling to the living hope we have today in Christ our Lord.