Moving to a foreign country is always going to be a challenging endeavor. Everything changes.

The food you eat. The food you make. How you make the food (ovens are uncommon in Colombia).

How you wash the dishes. How you wash your clothes. The type of clothes you wear.

The conversations you have. How you greet people. How you say goodbye to people. What questions you should and should not ask to get to know someone. Cultural references.

And not to mention, you’re probably doing all that in a foreign language.

One thing is for sure—you’re not going to be perfect. It’s going to be a learning curve, and you’re going to mess up. I was told many times before my internship of the importance of humility on the mission field. And that is 100% accurate. You have to enter with a posture of teachability, because there are a million things you don’t know.

But what I didn’t hear as often was to always remember where my identity is found.

Humility is one thing, but sometimes, when you constantly feel like you aren’t doing things right, and you constantly feel like you don’t belong, it can wear you down. This internship taught me humility, yes, but it also taught me my identity is something that never changes, because He never changes.

My internship with MTW was in partnership with RUF (Reformed University Fellowship), so I was working primarily on a college campus. Prior to my MTW internship in Colombia, I was an RUF intern in the U.S. Even in the U.S., I struggled with feeling like I didn’t belong. The truth is, I was not like the others on campus. I was not a student, nor a professor, so I often felt out of place in the student union or the gym, and tried at all costs to avoid the question “So, what’s your major?”

And if I felt out of place in my home country, imagine how much more out of place I felt—and still feel—here in Colombia. I stayed after my MTW internship ended to continue working with RUF. In the U.S., no one could tell by looking at me that I didn’t belong. Here, all it takes is one glace to know I’m different.

Sometimes, if I’m being honest, I don’t want to go to campus because I don’t want to be looked at or asked questions. I want to be comfortable, accepted, normal.

But then I remember Jesus too stepped into a place that was not His home.

Immanuel and the importance of being “with” people

As Christmas approaches, there is a word frequently on my mind: Immanuel. It’s beautiful. God with us.

Now I want to be careful not to fall into any theological holes. I am in no way comparing myself to God condescending from His throne to our world. As Canadian theologian Don Carson famously said, “We are never more than poor beggars telling other poor beggars where there is bread.” But, I think that for college students to trust you when you tell them there’s something so much better for their lives, you need to be with them. You need to live alongside them. You need to know them in the way that only comes from time and presence and shared experience. So in an unfamiliar country, that means learning the culture and the language. That means learning the Spanish translations of popular movies and the references and the jokes.

As I stumble my way through these relationships, trying to know these students and love them and share the gospel in a way that will connect profoundly with them, I remember God with us— the importance of presence in ministry and His presence with me in every conversation. As Jesus reassures us in the Great Commission, “And behold I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

I once heard someone say the whole story of the Old Testament is God seeking to be with His people. The tabernacle, the cloud and the fire, the sacrifices, all of it is to facilitate our fellowship with God, for Him to be near and among His people. And of course, that all culminates in the curtain-tearing, earth-darkening, world-changing sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

What wonderful worth and value that gives us! The kind and great God of the universe wants to be with imperfect humans.

So, on days where ministry feels hard and I feel like an outsider who doesn’t know what’s going on, I remember how loved and accepted I am in Him. I remember my identity as a cherished daughter of Christ, something that doesn’t change no matter how many people don’t understand why I came all this way, or why I look and speak and act different.

When I’m on campus looking for a place to sit in the cafeteria and feel like a vulnerable middle schooler all over again, He sees me. He knows my heart, and He knows why I’m there.

When I do something culturally weird or unintentionally offensive and feel the embarrassment warming my face, He is not ashamed of me.

Worth the risk

And for all you fellow or future MTW interns nervous about interacting in a different country, culture, or language, just know it’s awkward and hard and humbling, but it’s so worth it.

Without taking this risk, I never would have met the student struggling with believing her worth is in her grades. Because I spent time investing in her life and getting to know her, I was able to share that in Christ, a person’s identity is unshakeable, and that salvation is a free gift not based on her works or success or perceived value.

Without taking this risk, I never would have met the student struggling with feeling like she doesn’t know who God is. If we hadn’t, over the span of a year, had many conversations about books and reading, we would never be reading a book together about the names of God.

Without taking this risk, I never would have met the girl who said she never wanted to step foot in a church again. But through genuine friendship built upon hikes and coffee dates, service, and more than a few laughs, she came to see Christianity is perhaps different than she thought—and did indeed step foot in a church again.

All of this is 100% the work of God. What a privilege to be a part of His plan to build a people of all nations and tribes and tongues.

Every awkward moment, every unfortunate mishap, every uncomfortable conversation, is a step toward this beautiful vision. And how wonderful to know that no matter what, my identity is secure in a God who knows me, sees me, and loves me perfectly. 

MTW summer internships are filling up fast! Get started by January 20 at mtw.org/internships.